oh, life.

I’ve been absent from the bloggedy-blog-ba-dog (not sure where that came from…) this week, partially because a great deal of time has been occupied in supporting the vast consumerism of wedding preparation. Yay. As I’ve mentioned, we have a couple of friends’ nuptials quickly approaching. I realized the other day that we still needed several things, so a flurry of money-spending took place. We bought Thumbelina’s dresses (thankfully it occurred to me that she needs one for rehearsal dinners AND actual weddings - plus Easter). We were shopping at a particular store and she took me by the hand, led me all the way to the shoe section and hand-picked pink sparkle shoes. She’s worn them so frequently indoors now that she has blisters on every side of each foot and we’ve had to retire the glittery goods for awhile.

Gift registries, dress fittings, shoe shopping, make-up selection, hair preparation - you’d think I’m the actual bride instead of only a bridesmaid. My own wedding band actually resembles an engagement ring, with three stones on a platinum band, which apparently confuses people. A well-meaning saleslady literally grabbed my hand and oohed and ahhed over it, asking when the big day would happen, after I told her I needed to find a dress for a wedding rehearsal dinner. I gently explained that the toddler strapped to my back came along after the vows were spoken, nearly five years ago. “What! You can’t be married already? Seriously, for real?” I wasn’t quite sure how to take that comment… but, I did find a pretty dress.

I’ve spent much of the last week simply thinking. I received some very personal news last week that directly impacts my family and our life together. Despite the uncertainty in learning how to accept and deal with the challenge that has come our way, I’ve felt a great deal of peace in knowing that this week is the holiest week of the entire year. As Easter approaches, I feel God’s presence in our family life and I know that with His help, we will discern our response. But, it’s hard to blog about the everyday when a particular worry is blaring incessantly within one’s brain, so hopefully now that I’m a little more calm about the situation - which isn’t dire, and doesn’t involve health or employment or anything emergent - I can concentrate once again upon the simple blessings of our life and record them here, to remember for years to come.

thrift, Lent and love

I think my mother was well-intentioned when she told us to stay out of thrift shops. She would explain that many people ‘less fortunate’ than us were more deserving, poised to discover the discarded treasures that we, in our abundance, had no right to pilfer. Even on Halloween, when everybody went thrifting to find old prom dresses for princess attire, or wedding gowns to be corpse brides - nope, we weren’t allowed to shop at any thrift store. My mother would rather we pay retail prices then get something for $2, secondhand. Of course, there might have been an ounce or two of snobbery in the admonishment. (Ya think?)

I didn’t even set foot into a thrift store until the last couple of years when I started thinking about our eco footprint and the benefits of reusing items instead of purchasing new. Discovering Freecycle was like hitting the jackpot - an easy way to get rid of our excess stuff and occasionally score something much-needed and easily reused. I’ve gotten bed-risers, preemie clothes and a toddler bed for free. I still cringe thinking about all I carelessly wasted or unnecessarily bought new… Now, however, thrifting is becoming an addiction. It’s so fun! I often don’t buy anything when I go out, but I’m always in search of handmade items or other unusual but useful things. This weekend, I found these crocheted and knitted blankets:

(Incidentally, that wicker cabinet is also thrifted.)

With Lent being here, I set out yesterday in search of a visual reminder of my purpose during this season of conversion. I plopped Thumbelina in her carseat and away we went. I passed so many wonderful photo opportunities, but it’s hard to pull over to the side of a rural highway and find a place to park the car, you know? But we saw a few pairs of cuddling cows, several feasting llamas and bales upon bales of stacked hay. Eventually we pulled into a lake area and I was amazed by the stillness. (Apparently nobody hangs out at camping grounds when it’s 19 degrees outside, who knew?) I came across this tree, plucked out of the earth by it’s roots, still clinging to the dirt:

I found it to be so helpful in thinking about the purpose of my struggle during this Lenten season. Being called to conversion, yet still attached to worldly comforts that often distract me from focusing more deeply in prayer. Endeavoring to root out sin from my life and replace my self-absorption with virtue. Occasionally being knocked over by temptation. Waiting for Spring to come - the flowers to bloom and the sky to deepen with blue, the grass freshly scented with new life. Awaiting the resurrection of Jesus.

This picture reminded me of the journey during Lent. The obstacles that exist between myself and the hope of softening and surrendering my heart to God. Striving for the icy hardness of my pride to melt away as I entrust my will more perfectly to His.

Thumbelina has been saying “Ah-shoo! Ah-shoooooo!” for a few weeks now, and neither Topher or I could figure out what it meant. She spoke it at seemingly random times - nursing in the afternoon, waking in the middle of the night, accepting a bowl of apple slices, after bath time. Finally, one day I kissed her, gave her a squeeze and said how much I loved her. She immediately said, “Ah-shooo, Happy!” So, I guess she loves me too?