happy birthday, again!

So, we went to an indoor inflatable play place yesterday, assuming Thumbelina would love it because jumping is her favorite thing to do as of late. She was quite happy when we arrived, sitting on daddy’s lap in the parking lot to ‘drive.’

But, as soon as we got inside and Topher jumped into the inflatables, she wasn’t quite so enthused.

Yes, those are Topher’s feet. Do you like the “No Diving: Enter Feet First” sign?

After we finally got Topher to, ahem, come back out - we spent most of our time in the small toddler area, which seemed more comfortable for Thumbelina (much to Topher’s disappointment).

Since the play place wasn’t much of a hit, we decided to head out to the toy store and FINALLY pick out her birthday presents. Yay! We got her an indoor/outdoor jungle gym of sorts. She can climb and slide and do all of her monkeying on it, hopefully. We also picked up a wooden letter puzzle, since she’s been interested in the alphabet lately. Not surprisingly, Thumbelina managed to find a Barney and Riff that were on clearance. They aren’t the small, blissfully silent types that she’s been carrying around for months, either. Nope, they sing songs and Riff even has two obnoxious maracas that he shakes around. She also found a Barney coloring book and Mama took pity on her and bought another Barney dvd. Oh joy!

Admittedly, the jungle gym isn’t put together yet, but she’s quite taken with Riff and Bah-ney.

I would post pictures of her Barney cake, but it’s so sad and pathetic that even I, with my no-shame policy regarding craft attempts, can’t bring myself to post pictures. It took me TWO HOURS and Topher continually came in to gently suggest that I just give it up. Maybe because I kept having to scrape the frosting off the cake and re-frost it to have a clean slate. (Thumbelina fell asleep while waiting for her cake, which at first made me feel sorry that I was taking so long and being so frustrated with something so silly - but then I realized she was spared learning a few colorful words I’d prefer she not hear yet. Yay.) And then when I finally managed to trace a great outline of Barney onto the cake, the purple frosting came out as red and his eyes looked deranged. Isn’t that sad? The only triumph during the entire cake debacle was that she at least recognized him as Barney - though with a distinct question in her voice, kind of like when a parent asks their child to “tell me about that drawing, son!” because they don’t want to mistakenly hurt the kid’s feelings. Topher was like, “At least she didn’t think you made her an alien cake, right?” Yes babe, that makes me feel a million times better. Nevermind that Thumbelina thinks she sees Barney on any cereal box.

We did make an emergency run to the grocery store and procured a few pink princess cupcakes. Thumbelina enjoyed the frosting the most, I think.

My one culinary success this birthday happened to be using my trusty blender and re-introducing smoothies. We haven’t had any in awhile, which is a good thing because Thumbelina discovered milkshakes last weekend during the wedding - and has asked for a “shake” every day since. (Poor Topher ran out of ways to amuse her during his many hours of solo parenting between activities.) Fortunately, she was satisfied that a cherry-peach-mango smoothie is a sufficient “shake.”

If there is any mercy in this world, Thumbelina will have a new interest by her next birthday and Barney will be a friend of the past. Then maybe we can actually order a cake, since not one single local bakery still does Barney cakes anymore. (And I can spare my little one the torture of my cake-decorating disability.)

Plop

I’ve been sick for the past few days, sneezing and coughing and generally out of it. Yesterday, I found myself melting from exhaustion around 2pm, desperately needing a nap - even though I’m usually not one for a siesta. Thumbelina slept earlier than normal, on my lap in the recliner after we returned home from Kindermusik - so she wasn’t about to lay down with mama (I mean… Happy).

Fortunately, even in my delirium, I made sure the room was Thumbelina-proof. (No petroleum jelly products to be found.) She was great! She played with her books, her babies and took plenty of breaks to nurse and cuddle. My phone, however, was somewhat of a distraction, so I stuck it in the hip of my underwear for safekeeping. Big mistake.

When I finally felt like re-joining the world again, we got up and I needed a quick bathroom break. I sleepily began doing what needed doing and - plop. Phone in the toilet. Thumbelina said, “WHOAAAAAAAA!” and then clapped for me. (She thinks everything we do is for her entertainment.)

Topher came home eventually and insisted the phone would be fine. This is, after all, my second phone in under a year. I’m guessing he knows someone who knows someone whose phone drowned in a lake and it worked perfectly fine afterwards. I just smiled and refrained from agreeing or disagreeing, since I knew full well that within 24 hours we’d be purchasing a new phone - since this one would be too wonky to continue. And, of course, by bedtime the phone’s keypad wouldn’t work. Woo. (We have phone insurance. I think my new phone will be free. I hope.)

So, we are stuck at home today since I’m a paranoid person and of the over-protective safety-enthusiast generation of mothers. I can’t go anywhere without a cell phone because - what if something happens, right? Though, I honestly still feel pretty awful so a day of rest will be good for us. Which is a little disappointing, but being home for a day isn’t so bad. Laundry awaits me - ew - but, we picked up our 25lbs of organic, whole wheat, freshly-ground flour from a local farmer co-op (through our parenting group) on Friday, so I think we’ll bake bread this afternoon and I’ll put soup in the crockpot. Preferrably chicken noodle soup, since I need some healing vibes to end this illness (and the resulting lack of coherent decision-making).

In case anyone’s wondering, Thumbelina’s hair is back to normal. Whew.

Random Thoughts

I feel oddly preoccupied with the death of Heath Ledger. It reminds me of when I mourned as a teenager over River Phoenix, Kurt Cobain and Jonathan Brandis. Brad Renfro passed away only last week… it all just seems so tragic. I realize that people die every day, and plenty of children grow up without their daddies, but those statistics aren’t very tangible to me (thank goodness). I’m a little freaked out by how many celebrity gossip sites are predicting a trifecta and taking odds on Britney Spears being next - I even watched video footage with paparazzi asking her when she’s going to kill herself. The AP came out last week and announced they have her obituary ‘ready to go’ for when she passes. Since most celebrity obituaries are already prepared, why would they specifically make a statement about her? Are they wishing for it to happen?

Death is an uncomfortable topic for me. I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately in terms of how fleeting our lives are in the grand scheme of things. I alternate between anxiety about the actual moment - wondering if I’ll instinctively ‘know’ before it happens - or being worried about the afterlife and the condition of my soul. But I worry most about leaving Thumbelina without a mommy. She is such a sensitive, innocent little one, so secure and confident in knowing how much she is loved. I hate even thinking about what the loss of a parent does to a child, and I don’t want that for my Thumbelina. To this day, we still don’t have a guardianship in place because there simply isn’t anyone to leave her with to raise. I think after my friend gets married this summer, she will be our first choice. But I shudder to think of my family or Topher’s family sinking their claws into her. I pray every day that Topher and I will be here to raise our children to adulthood.

Okay, enough with the morbid thoughts.

In very exciting news, I came across purple-tastic Barney dinosaur slippers on sale at Target yesterday. We bought two pairs, since they were only $1.98 and what if Thumbelina’s feet grow fast enough that she doesn’t have time to lose interest in him before the slippers no longer fit? Yes, I think about these deep questions. They’ve been adorning both her hands and feet. We also picked up a stuffed Barney and Baby-Bop last week. Thumbelina never lets them out of her sight and she even brushes Barney’s teeth at night. (I guess Baby-Bop will have to face cavities at some point.)

Before we left for our first Kindermusik class yesterday, Thumbelina decided to learn her first phrase - “See it?” Except she pronounces it like, “Shi-it? Shi-it?” So after we arrived, she was pointing at various objects and asking me if I could see them. “Shi-it? Sh-it?” Which prompted one mom to give me the raised eyebrow.

We moved the toddler bed into our room, with grand plans of future restful nights. So far the only one getting any extra sleep is Thumbelina’s Sleepy Snoozle. She tucks her baby into bed, signs night-night, tells Topher and I she’s tired… and then flips out if we suggest she climb into bed with her Snoozle. Instead, she and Daddy climb into the big bed and sing Barney songs until she falls asleep. And when I come to bed, the all-night nurse-a-thon begins. Woo. It is totally wearing me out and I feel ultra exhausted. But for now, I’m trying to treasure our time together and realize that she will never be this small again. She is almost two and someday soon enough will wean. Even now, when I’ve pawned her off on Daddy and she falls asleep on his tummy or at his side, I often wake up feeling like something is amiss and I can’t rest until she’s tucked into the crook of my arm again. (But I’m still certain I can survive just fine if and when she ever takes a liking to her toddler bed…)

I have about 15 ripe bananas to do something with this afternoon. Too bad I haven’t been able to find my amazing healthy banana muffin recipe since we left. I’m off to go search recipes and maybe will send something with Topher to the office tomorrow. Either that, or freeze about five loaves of banana bread - gah!

A friend of mine found out she’s pregnant with her first little girl - after having four boys in five years!

Thumbelina has been calling me “Happy” lately, which sounds like my first name. I’d prefer “Mama” but I suppose Happy will do.

And now… I get to go convince a toddler it’s naptime, do some exercise, figure out dinner, fold some laundry and vacuum the downstairs. Woo!

28!

I’m officially approaching age 30 now. Not that I ever wasn’t, but it’s looming closer and closer!

I had a nice day yesterday. Thumbelina and I had an at-home spa fest. We got out several new body products I recently ordered and we sampled them after taking a lovely bath. She loves lotion and lip balm and anything feminine, so exploring a whole basket of bottles was heavenly for her (and me, too!). Topher had to work late, but when he got home and I went to go relax for a bit, I came back to find some flowers and a card on the table which made me happy. (My birthday present is a sewing machine that I haven’t picked out yet. I’m still deciding which one to purchase, considering my crafting skills aren’t exactly well-honed.)

Then he made tacos for us, while Thumbelina “helped” me frost the cake. This endeavor didn’t go quite as planned, but it was still entertaining. She dumped too much milk in when I wasn’t looking, so I had to scramble and add things to thicken it. The result was a sludgy, lumpy, sugary mess. But, that’s okay - she was quite proud of herself. I might have been able to salvage it had I gotten out the mixer, but I just didn’t care at that point.

Apparently it still tasted okay!

Finally, we ate dinner and then sang happy birthday. I let Thumbelina blow out my candles - three times, actually. She thought it was great fun and continued to sign more and ask for “light” after we were already eating the cake!

puppy tattoos

Topher, dear husband on vacation that he is, let me sleep in until 10:30am this morning!!!! It was blissful.

After I finally rolled out of bed, I made pumpkin muffins while Thumbelina colored. Well, she doesn’t exactly color yet. She mostly sorts. Crayons in the bag; dump, gather and repeat.  I found these cute doggy stickers on clearance at Target last night, and knowing her penchant for puppies, I picked them up and today they adorned her arms in tatoo’d fashion:

She frequently waved her arms under my nose while “ruff-ruff-ruff-ing.”

The pumpkin muffins weren’t so great. I tried combining two different recipes we normally like, but it just didn’t work very well. They’re still edible, even perhaps tasty, just not superbly scrumptious.  I couldn’t even muster any real enthusiasm to photograph them, but oh well. Here’s a look:

I watched an older movie this afternoon, one I’ve never seen before but always wanted to view. It’s called “The Hiding Place,” and is an adaptation of the book based on Corrie Ten Boom’s life. The title itself refers to the the actual hiding place that she and her sister and father provided for Jews in the middle of Nazi-occupied Holland during the 1940s, as well as the Psalm 32:7, “You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.” The Ten Booms were a family of outstanding Christian faith and so steadfast in their love despite the hellish circumstances.

I first encountered the book in high school and was struck by the inevitable reality check. I think it’s happening again at a good time for me, too, as I’ve been sinking lately into a self-absorbed internal dialogue of my ’suffering’ as a SAHM. It’s difficult for me to have perspective sometimes, because I think every experience is valid and feelings shouldn’t be minimized. But re-discovering that REAL problems exist in the world is good for me. It helps me appreciate all the beautiful blessings in my life that sometimes get taken for granted. Blessings I would expound upon, but someone has a very poopy diaper that needs to be changed at the moment.