overload

We went to an engagement party last night. My best friend from high school has been engaged now for almost six months, but since she and her husband-to-be live in Dallas - this was their first opportunity to celebrate with family and hometown friends.

We expected to have a great time. But… unfortunately, it was sensory overload for Thumbelina. Screaming, growling, tears… it was pitiful. And embarrassing. And frustrating. And I felt really dumb for not having worn her in the sling from the very first moment, because by the time I offered it - only a few minutes after arriving, she screamed as if in horror at the mere idea.  So instead of forcing her into it, I let her constantly ask to be up or down, knowing she was uncomfortable but not wanting to cause a further scene. I’m never sure what to do in those moments when I know something is good for her but she protests so mightily. Grr. I hated it. I hated knowing she was so overwhelmed. We took her out on the front porch to get away from the loud buzz of conversation and unfamiliar faces, but that wasn’t a help either. What do you do when the only thing that helps is to avoid those situations in the first place? Is it really better to isolate her? I just don’t know. To be fair, I didn’t expect the party to be so huge. We arrived almost two hours after it had started, and several people were already leaving when we arrived. I did that on purpose, thinking we would catch the tail end - which, we did, but there were still plenty of people creating noise and greeting her and basically scaring the living daylights out of her. It wasn’t until literally all but five people remained that Thumbelina was able to warm up a little bit. And then of course it was time to go. Sigh. Topher and I both have sensory issues, so it isn’t that I can’t empathize, I just simply don’t know what the best thing to do is and I’m tired of seemingly making the wrong choices for her. Last night made me dread what the wedding weekend will be like, considering we’ll be out of town and even more removed from her comfort zone for a very extended period - not just an hour and a half at a party. I hate even the idea of her being miserable. I’m also just plain sad that I feel like nobody else gets to enjoy the spunky, hilarious and sweet little girl that I know.

In the midst of all the above drama with Thumbelina, something completely unrelated and totally awkward happened. I don’t even want to mention specific details because the last thing I want is to be contacted yet again by the media for a comment regarding this situation (as if anyone even knows my blog exists! But they managed to find my unlisted cell phone number and brand new unlisted home address) - a short summary is that my godfather happens to be a public figure across the stateline who recently resigned his position due to an extramarital affair and allegations about his conduct during an election. These revelations caused quite a stir because he’s been viewed as a beacon of morality for the last 20+ years. When he chose to come forward and confront the scandal due to his ex-lover’s damaging accusations (which he maintains are false), everybody and their brother seemed to remember that I happen to be his godchild. Which made for plenty of strange situations, and I chose to not speak about it to anyone. My opinion wouldn’t be popular anyway.

But, last night I got pulled into a conversation about it and I worry about what I said. The last place I thought I’d be asked about the situation was this silly party. But as it happens, the groom’s aunt went to professional school with my dad… and my godfather. So I somehow have this entirely bizarre conversation with her about ‘the situation’ as she calls it and I end up saying things that I don’t really intend to say, yet she’s listening with rapt attention and actually says, “I can’t believe I’m talking to his goddaughter!” WHAT? And meanwhile Thumbelina is screeching because my attention is diverted and Topher is wrangling her but doing so with less patience then she requires. Ahhh. Awkward. Eventually the conversation dwindled because the groom came over and I basically turned around and didn’t look back.

So, yeah. Not fun. But, it was lovely to see my friend. She is so happy to finally be marrying the guy she’s loved for I’m not even sure how long - six years? Their story is interesting because he struggled very much with possibly entering the priesthood and even spent a year in the seminary. Ultimately he came back home and they got back together, but not without a lot of iffy moments. It’s great to see them both so ecstatically happy and ready to begin their lives together.

We finally left. She was still screaming in the car, so we finally pulled over and nursed again, and then Topher went and bought her some cheez-its, which I normally rarely let her eat and they cheered her considerably. We came home, I cried about the stupidity of the entire evening, we ordered pizza and Topher gave me a pep talk. Thumbelina was back to her normal self within just minutes of being home, so… thank goodness for that, at least. I try to take comfort in knowing our home is a safe place, even if the rest of the world only unsettles her.

puppy tattoos

Topher, dear husband on vacation that he is, let me sleep in until 10:30am this morning!!!! It was blissful.

After I finally rolled out of bed, I made pumpkin muffins while Thumbelina colored. Well, she doesn’t exactly color yet. She mostly sorts. Crayons in the bag; dump, gather and repeat.  I found these cute doggy stickers on clearance at Target last night, and knowing her penchant for puppies, I picked them up and today they adorned her arms in tatoo’d fashion:

She frequently waved her arms under my nose while “ruff-ruff-ruff-ing.”

The pumpkin muffins weren’t so great. I tried combining two different recipes we normally like, but it just didn’t work very well. They’re still edible, even perhaps tasty, just not superbly scrumptious.  I couldn’t even muster any real enthusiasm to photograph them, but oh well. Here’s a look:

I watched an older movie this afternoon, one I’ve never seen before but always wanted to view. It’s called “The Hiding Place,” and is an adaptation of the book based on Corrie Ten Boom’s life. The title itself refers to the the actual hiding place that she and her sister and father provided for Jews in the middle of Nazi-occupied Holland during the 1940s, as well as the Psalm 32:7, “You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.” The Ten Booms were a family of outstanding Christian faith and so steadfast in their love despite the hellish circumstances.

I first encountered the book in high school and was struck by the inevitable reality check. I think it’s happening again at a good time for me, too, as I’ve been sinking lately into a self-absorbed internal dialogue of my ’suffering’ as a SAHM. It’s difficult for me to have perspective sometimes, because I think every experience is valid and feelings shouldn’t be minimized. But re-discovering that REAL problems exist in the world is good for me. It helps me appreciate all the beautiful blessings in my life that sometimes get taken for granted. Blessings I would expound upon, but someone has a very poopy diaper that needs to be changed at the moment.

Topher’s great ideas: an ipod and smoothie

My enterprising husband woke up yesterday and told me he had an errand to run. I didn’t pay much attention until the phrase “free ipod shuffle” came out of his mouth. What did you say? I asked. He explained that a bank down the street was gifting new ipods away to anyone opening up a checking account. And that he just called and they still had two available. I gasped.

Some of you may recall my unfortunate catastrophe a few months ago involving my washing machine and the tragically departed original ipod shuffle. Yes, the one I so devotedly used for every workout, walk and otherwise tedious task. It got stuck in a pocket of my shorts during laundry time and alas, never soulfully greeted me with repeated renditions of my favorite tunes, ever again.

We all piled in the car despite the snowy afternoon and drove the short distance to a bank I’d never heard of before. No matter. Topher went in, and fifteen minutes later came out bearing my new baby. The dearly departed was silver. My new one is pink! Yay! I love pink. She’s perfect!

Topher has been quite the thoughtful gift-giver this Christmas. He got me a new, 8ft long ‘project table’ so I can keep better track of what I’m doing. (The kitchen table was beginning to lose all sense of purpose.) He lugged the entire 70lb wooden utility table up to our third bedroom and put it together against the back wall, then helped me move all of my project ’stuff’ into the room. Voila! A place to do my thing. He also bought me a new rotary cutter and cutting board, which was quite thoughtful of him. Plus a digital picture frame so I can immediately see all my pictures upon taking them (which is a very sweet complement to the new camera).

Speaking of Topher, he’s addicted me to smoothies as of lately. I could never really get into the commercialized smoothie shops and therefore always thought I must not have a taste for smoothies. Wrong! How wrong I was. Apparently I just don’t like the fake sugary taste of chemically-enhanced smoothies. Lately we’ve been throwing frozen fruit into the blender at home and creating an assortment of yummy concoctions. It appears that our little creations are so good that they’ve even managed to turn Topher off of his former Robeks addiction. Today we made a mango-cherry-peach-with a wee bit of orange juice smoothie:

Doesn’t just looking at it make you want to slurp it right up? I’m oddly discovering that I fit into the bizarre stereotype of people who crave cold snacks in winter time. Do I eat ice cream during the sweltering heat of July? No. But give me sub-zero temperatures and a little light snow on the ground and suddenly I’m thinking of TCBY. Strange, very strange.

We’re expecting 3-6 inches of snow tonight. Which means I strategically made my way to Target earlier this evening and stocked up on diapers, wipes and random grocery items. Winter only started just this week and yet I’m already sick of it. I think this is the first year where I’m genuinely annoyed at the freezing temperatures and cooped up feelings. Maybe it’s the difference between having a 9 month old last Christmas and dealing with a speech-delayed almost-two-year-old this year. She is easily frustrated with the mundane and not being able to get outside or drive somewhere is tough on both of us. Maybe winter will pass with only a few snowstorms, but it seems like we’ve had plenty already.

Celebrating

Today was an unusual Christmas in that our schedule wasn’t very traditional, but it worked for us. Thumbelina was up most of the night with congestion and random night-waking, so she and I skipped morning mass. Topher went, came home and I had homemade cinnamon rolls, eggs and fruit smoothies ready for his return. We ate breakfast and then he began putting together the play kitchen - a wooden one from Target, which I finally just caved and bought since shopping online for one was becoming rather obsessive - and FOUR HOURS LATER he finally finished! Poor guy. He gets the daddy award for trudging through the endless pieces of painted wood and tiny little screws. He had to continually fend off Thumbelina, as my job of keeping her entertained for that period of time (when she’s sick and cranky, no less) was a bit of a task. Finally, though, I reverted to Barney so I could finish wrapping her presents and Topher’s Big Surprise.

Around 2pm, all the presents were finished and Thumbelina finally made her grand entrance into the living room. We don’t have any living room furniture at the moment (because we just moved, gave away our furniture and are saving for a new set)… so, we’ve decided to keep her play kitchen ’stuff’ available there since the space allows for it. Anyway, she noticed the kitchen and just paused and stared. She looked a little in awe. (It was really sweet.) I had placed several wooden food items in the ’stove’ and ‘refrigerator’ for her to find, and put her (soon-to-be-tossed) plastic tea set on the shelves. After a few moments, she dove right in and began exploring.

(Her hair is wet. I forgot to mention we took a shower right before unwrapping presents.)

After playing with the kitchen for quite awhile, we tried enticing her with other gifts but got denied. She seemed worried about removing her attention from the kitchen, as if it might disappear. Finally, she opened her dolls and Haba play food, blocks, cookware, etc. and seemed to enjoy it.

However.

Daddy’s present was still to come.

Cowboy boots! Topher has a secret desire to be a ‘real midwesterner’ as he calls it. (I guess he thinks every guy around these parts owns a pair of western-style dress boots.)

He loved the gift and was definitely surprised. They fit perfectly and he wore them for a little while. But after deciding to stretch out and rest for a bit, off they came and a shoe-fiend toddler accosted them.

Finally, Daddy took pity on her.

It was a happy Christmas.

Merry Christmas!

It’s after midnight, so Merry Christmas!

We spent today, Christmas Eve, dropping off meals, cleaning our old apartment, shopping for last minute presents and baking once we returned home.

Poor Thumbelina had a day of rotten luck. Shopping was relatively easy - I just put her in my wrap and she was content as always, even with the crazy crowds. But once we got home, I think the exhaustion caught up to her and she was extremely accident prone. In a matter of hours, she managed to tumble down the staircase head first (how many times has this happened already?) into the arms of Topher, who dropped an armful of presents to catch her. She split her lip open and bled all over the place. Then I noticed she scratched her face and chest with her nails. So, we cut her nails. After having a nighttime snack, she protested the impending bedtime by pitching forward onto the edge of the table (when Topher was getting her down from her highchair) and inadvertently split her lip open AGAIN! She bled all over her second white shirt of the evening. She also did the scary cry, the kind where she pauses her breath for a really long moment until we blow in her face. I was beginning to wonder if maybe she’s coming down with something because her voice was so raspy tonight and she’s not usually so clumsy. Sure enough, I felt her forehead and it was definitely hot. I’m wondering if she’ll even be well enough to go to Christmas morning mass tomorrow, poor baby. Being sick is never fun, but I think it has to be a million times worse when you can’t tell mama what is wrong.

I should get to bed so I can be rested for tomorrow. I found a great present for Topher that I’m so excited to give him. It’s something he would never ask for (mostly because I relentlessly mock his interest in it) but I know he’ll definitely love.

toys! and a Yo Baby facial

Topher went to pick up some of Thumbelina’s Christmas presents today from our Haba toys co-op among the local parenting group. I pounced upon the box as soon as he returned home (amidst snow and freezing rain). Three items I ordered won’t be shipping until January, but here is what we have so far:

Plus, a bunch of completely adorable individualized playfood items, but I’ll stop boring everyone but myself. I love toys!

I made my niece a dollhouse for her early December birthday, which she still hasn’t received and Thumbelina has been secretly using whenever I’m distracted elsewhere. I plan on making her a version of the same thing, but much cuter! Everything is always more adorable the second time around when it comes to my gimpy craft efforts. I got this idea from Angry Chicken.

Here’s my version for Ella:

Of the bendy dolls I made for Ella, Thumbelina has picked out her favorite. The others have been ignored, so I hesitate to post pictures of them since… clearly something must be amiss with the cast-offs!

And, in case anyone has ever wondered what an after-dinner snack looks like at our house…

Plus! A glimpse of the resulting bath afterwards.

birthday boy and dragon girl

I’d forgotten what a PITA it is to set up a new blog. But alas, I’m excited at the opportunity for a do-over. I wasn’t sure what exactly I was doing throughout my first attempt - and while I’m certainly no expert now, I at least have an idea of how things work. And this time around I won’t have a watered-down version of wordpress to deal with! Yay.

Topher turned 28 on December 15th. Holidays and celebrations with him are always interesting because he has such a different set of expectations then I do. Presents are important to him. Like, right now I’m stressing because we agreed to purchase a joint Christmas gift this year. It’s an expensive camera and I warned him that if we bought it, that meant we wouldn’t have things to open on Christmas day… which, to most adults would not be a catastrophe but I realize my husband comes from a family in which the holiday closely resembles a bulimic Santa puking up presents everywhere. Ew. We have always made sure that Christmas is a reenactment of his childhood with plenty of wrapping paper being excitedly ripped to shreds. So, imagine my reluctance to take away the magic of gift-giving, no matter how exciting the new camera is to both of us. However, he brushed off my concern and happily encouraged me to purchase the camera. BUT. About a week after I bought the camera, he came home and announced he picked up a Christmas present for me. …um… “Oh, it’s nothing special. I just didn’t want you to go without opening a present on Christmas morning.” Whaaaaaaattttttt? I also know that in Topher-ese, “nothing special” really means it’s quite nice. And it will kill me to open a present on Christmas if he doesn’t have something equally great. It wouldn’t be that big of a deal except we are super broke right now. Purchasing a home and all the insane amount of expenses that go along with it, right on the cusp of Christmas = a stretched bank account. To make matters worse, I think I missed the mark on this birthday because his several dress shirts and power drill are still sitting on the living room floor. Whoops. At least he liked the wallet and iphoto-book of him and Thumbelina, right? Soooo… tomorrow I am off to join the rush of last minute shoppers and figure something out for his poor little self.

Speaking of Christmas, I’m feeling like the biggest nerd ever because I’m far more excited then I should be for Thumbelina to open her presents. It’s not her reaction I’m entirely excited about - it’s the prospect of playing with all her new toys that basically gives me a shiver of anticipation every time I think about it. Am I lame or what?

We continue to get holiday cards in the mail and I love it! The next few days will hopefully be super relaxing. Topher is officially off work (and I’m trying to forget his tentative mentioning that he might have to go in on the day after Christmas… nor think about his thankless second job and all the hours he plans on doing during ‘vacation’) after a meeting late this evening, so I plan on soaking up some family time. He’s been so busy lately, working around the clock, and poor Thumbelina has missed him probably just as much as I have.

We’ve had fun with our daily walks to a tiny little play area down the street. The weather has been decent for about a week, but I think it’s supposed to snow again tomorrow. I’m hoping it doesn’t stay yucky for too long. (Hopefully just long enough for us to have a white Christmas!) I found this fleece dragon suit at a thrift store and I bought it to keep her warm in the car. She’s taken quite a liking to it and has been whispering “rawr” when I put it on her. I guess it’s a nice change from the plethora of dresses and sparkly shoes and tutus that she’s normally wearing.

Whenever there’s snow on the ground, she spends a great deal of time carefully examining it.

Walking home is always considerably less enthusiastic.

Here’s a shot of her wary (grumpy?) face, about to admonish me for pointing the camera at her yet again.

a new blog

Unfortunately, the limitations of the previous site were a big headache and prevented me from blogging very frequently do to the inconvenience. Sooo… I’m hoping this goes better and is more fun for me!